Accepting: You just need to find the quickest way to do it

Let's learn to accept

Accept it ...

that's what my cousin and a random psychology student I chatted with on omegle said sometimes ago

There is this incident happened that made me feel so ... I don't know. Angry, afraid ... that I can't even help myself. Even my cousin who is a psychology student said that I need to see a real psychologist. Well, I don't even think they can help me sort things out.

One time, I even had a really bad dream about this. I woke up with a very bad feeling and I didn't know what to do about it. I ended up telling everything to my dear cousin, and she told me to write things that made me afraid and angry up until that time.

There I was, writing what I really feel, read them again and again, then burn it.

I felt sooo much better after that. Though, the bad feeling still lingering in my mind. I think, I am still not accepting it after all.

And now here I am, with a very light feeling. Well, I think I finally can sort things out of my mind and heart. I helped myself yesterday, when I forced myself to enter the commuter wagon that full with men. I took the chance not to enter the female wagon. This is an extreme way for me, but I thought this is the only chance for me to learn how to accept my fear.

That was the longest time I've ever felt to be in a commuter. And without I knew it, I recalled the times I felt happy being around that someone ... until that day when I felt I was wrong all along.

Well, finally. This is how I move on. Without words or good-bye. I just learned how to accept things and myself to be how they used to be.

One thing I learn from my cousin and my good friend.

Boys will be boys.

Yeah, that's a big truth.

The only thing left for me to do is to accept it so I won't end up blaming and distrusting everyone.