Compliments = Curses ?

The Compliments

Amidst an international biotechnology conference I attended last week, I had this chance of talking with my department head while we had our lunch. I always enjoy my time talking with him because he is one of a few mature men I have met in my life. From him, I learn many important things and new point of view in order to survive in this 'seemingly safe life' of academicians. Our chit chat then turned into a quite serious discussion about something that I can't really talk about in this blog. But there is this sentence from him that wowed me one more time.

He said something about Compliments. That compliments can turn into a curse. Not a curse like we see in horror movies. Compliments turn into curse(s) when we can't manage the curses well in our life.

"If you, Miss Pijar, all along your life, you are always being complimented for the good deeds you've done, it could badly turn into a curse."

Without many questions asked, I could know what he truly meant.

The Curse

When we are complimented, our good deeds then known by us as 'a REAL good thing'. Our good actions or achievements then set us a standard. Something like 'I am good if I am like this,' or 'I will be good if I do this.' Again, without us pretty much realizing, other people opinion or even appreciation will put a mark in our life, that we are expected to become what people think is good. And when we enjoy this too much, when we attach ourselves to this 'appreciation', then unknowingly we will do what we can to defend the things we once had in life. At this very right moment, the compliments turn into a CURSE, a curse where we can't run away from it except if we detach our own self willingly.

Being Sincere

There is this word we know as 'sincere'. Up until now, I know being sincere as a willing of doing something without particular reason, that's what I learn in my religion. So it is when someone do something not because of money, fame, or other reason except for God. I am not talking about religion here, but I want to see from a perspective that I have learned maybe since I was a child. But honestly, I don't ever remember the time when I am doing something not because of particular reasons. There must be a reason, even if it is just for my own being. If that's the case, then am I not being sincere?

Lately, I have an opinion, that the will of being sincere doesn't stop when we do something. It is not the period of time when we start to have the will until we start doing the thing. But the process of being sincere continued even after we finished doing it, for a day, a month, a year, or even the rest of our life. If I must say it harshly, we don't even CARE for the good effects of the things we've done.

So, how's life going up till now? Is it a sincerity?

I am not sure. Especially when our life become so much 'well known' with internet, social media, and other 'instant' things. Try to type your own name in a search engine and you will know what the world knows about you in public (not necessarily the entire thing). Maybe we don't realize the happiness creep in when people hit the 'like' button in our postings, give compliments, or other things done by our 'virtual friends'. We find the happiness, and we will start to repeat it to taste the same happiness, again and again, until it becomes something so addictive. OK, maybe I am too extreme, but seriously, isn't it the truth? When these little 'likes', 'loves' or any other form of illusive agreements keep coming, what do we feel? And how will it affects our REAL LIFE? Is that a reflection on how we will react on real compliments and people agreement? 

We really should put some attention into this matter.