March 30, 2015 - Taking a Rest

Since weeks ago, I have my facebook account inactivated and my whatsapp uninstalled.

My reaction to myself: LOL Pijar, what happened with you, Darling?

So yeah, I am actually quite impulsive and spontaneous. But this kind of thing is not something that I can easily do without much consideration. I am an extrovert person (at normal circumstances), and limiting myself to those apps and webs that help me chatting with a lot of people can be a disaster :O

Let's go back to many many years ago

We can't argue that communications was limited many years ago. Technology is not as sophisticated as it is these days. We don't have handphones, smartphones, whatsapp, LINE, BBM or any other communication tools. I remember the days when I have a pen pal, and I will enter post office each month enthusiastically. I will buy some stamps, and send my letters, or just as easy as writing in a post card. I remember the days when my parents would send my brother and I postcards when they are out of town. Those postcards were exotic, especially when they came from different cities or countries. I remember, my brother and I had a collection of stamps, though we can't remember where we put them now. I always love the smell of stamps, postcards, envelope ... I even love the long queue in a post office.

Fruits Basket Main Characters,
 the picture I put in my phone book

I also remember the days when I would pick up a phone, calling my friends just to have those silly chit-chat. Talking about the boys we had crush on, our homework, our extracurricular activities, our favorite teachers, and many many unimportant things. I remember how I called my old friend, Stephanie, and we will have a veeeeryyy long talk about Haibara Ai from Detective Conan (even when I wrote this, I smile all along). And of course, I would be scolded by my parents when the phone bills were sooo expensive.

I remember I once had a phone book where I would write my friends' phone number. I made the book by myself, and I put a picture of Fruits Basket characters on the cover. I also remember that every Sunday, my grandmother would take me for a walk, and there is this one telephone station (we call it Wartel or Warung Telepon in Indonesia) that we would visit. There, my grandma would call her old friends or her family in other cities, just to simply say 'Hi' and ask how they were doing.

Years passed, and we started to have simple hand phones, the one with 'real' buttons, monochromes, and monophonic (LOL). I loved to make new ringtones on my phone, mostly it will Detective Conan soundtrack songs (I couldn't tell how much I love Detective Conan series that day, even until now). On that time, my mother was abroad to study, and I remember that I liked to send her short messages. International short messages service is expensive, there are times when I couldn't send more message because I have spent all of the vouchers. 

There are also those times when I start having an email address and chatting with random people. My first email address was made by my Mom (it is my yahoo address). And when I entered high school, my friends and I started to have friendster and/or facebook accounts, and we will chat all day long with the ebuddy app. 

And I guess that's when all of this communication easiness is started.

It is great to contact people easily, of course, especially if you have urgent issues. But lately, I am started to ... what will I say it ... feel tired?

No more checking on not-necessarily-important notifications

Right now I only use my usual SMS, phone call, and BBM (only have 40 contacts and most of them are my family, can't really uninstall this one). oh yeah, and LINE (because I don't have many groups here, not as 'busy' as whatsapp). And I only have my G+ account to share things. So yeah, life is so much simpler for me now. No those notifications ringtone or vibrations that asked you to keep checking on your phone, or make you check it although there are no notifications. I know, my friends start to look for me, hahaha. But they always have my phone number, so yeah they can always contact me and I always can contact them. It is just a matter of 'different tools'.

Saving my phone battery

Exactly! That's the most beautiful thing I feel after limiting my socmed/chatting apps.

No more those annoying post on my facebook timeline

I don't need to see those insignificant things anymore. I don't when it started (maybe since the president election moment), but people keep posting negative things on the facebook, and it just makes me UGH!

Having a few people you want to keep in your life, and want to keep you in their life.

I know, for some people this sounds not very into positive ways. Maybe I am just too sensitive these days. But, that's what I feel, and I admit it.

Let's take a look on a web article talking about this Dunban Number 

Take a rest

Maybe that's what I need for the next few months. My father told me to take a rest, and it's okay to do it for awhile. I believe that people are social creature. We cannot live without other people. But, lately I just think I need my own space, without many gossips, or complaints, or boasts, or stories, or many other things that just make me fed up. 

I am pretty much can't avoid when people talk to me. I will listen quietly, try to be in their shoes, imagining how things happened. But, this is sometimes quite ... tiring. I am not saying I am a good listener, but I tried to. But listening to people's issues and what I feel about their issues is totally a different thing. Maybe it is because I tend to 'feel', things felt so much harder.

So yeah, that's why I decide to take a rest. And I don't know till when ...

That's why lately I feel so much more comfortable with my family, my cousins, my aunties, my family's relatives ... Because they make me feel 'at home'.

Learning to live and solve issues by myself

I have lived far from my parents and family for quite a long time ... almost 9 years since I am in high school. So yeah, I have learnt how to live by myself. But, I guess there is still a looooong way to go. Living by yourself is not simply living by yourself. Even now, I still need that 'sweet and sudden escape' when I can't control myself, opening a flight booking web, and find myself transferring money from my bank accounts only to go home.

Yeah, the right place for me to relieve my problems is at HOME. So, it will be quite expensive when I feel stress and can't hold back anymore.

The longer I live far from my family, the more I think that I can't talking my problems with just anyone else, even my close friends. Of course, there are times when they said 'tell me your problems, I will be there to listen'. But, I just can't help myself to tell things.

And I start talking to Him

Yeah, Him ... The best 'secret keeper', the best 'problem solver', the best 'stress reliever', the best 'listener', the best 'chatting apps', the best 'social media' ... He is the BEST of the BEST. He is my HOME. I could talk anything to HIM, and I really mean ANYTHING. Although right now I still learn how to talk to Him (talking with God still need the right techniques, in my opinion. Even you have ethics to talk with your friends). But, yeah ... for now and for the next many many years I want to start feeling and thinking that He should be the first I look for when I have anything I want to talk about. I should learn, and I believe I can learn it fast enough ...

"Nay, seek (Allah's) help With patient perseverance And prayer: It is indeed hard, except To those who bring a lowly spirit -- Who bear in mind the certainty That they are to meet their Lord, And that they are to return to Him.  (The Noble Quran, 2:45-46)"